The Hedonic Treadmill

To make ‘enjoying life’ my central focus is a trap. All my states of emotional being are dynamic, impossible to maintain. This is  good and bad.  Just as my state of ecstasy cannot be maintained, neither does my sadnesses endure. I will seek enjoyment peaks, but I know that they are only made possible by their opposite. When I am sad or angry, I can console myself with the knowledge that I am ploughing the valley for the next ecstatic peak.  I must always seek out the struggle, the frustration, the defeat. Only thus can I expect to find joy.

In my 20s, I sought the hedonic life.  I brought my sailboat to the Virgin Islands.  A perfect climate with nothing to do but enjoy. But I could not stay high. Small frustrations bothered me out of proportion. The perfect blue water became boring. Even the sailing, where the winds were the steady Trades, lost its allure. I took note that I found myself among the most heavy drinking folks I ever hung with. Rum punch at lunch. It made sense.  These folks were feeling the same as me, but the escaped the feeling with drink.  For some reason, I was never tempted to go that way. But, after about 6 months, I retreated to the world. But I learned the lesson, I can never live just for enjoyment. I must have the struggle.